


As if it’s our last

by Sunfloawer



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Also bamf, Chan is always on rescue duty, Changbin is just there for cuddles, Chemical apocalypse, Gore, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Hyunjin is :(, Injured Felix, Jeongin and Woojin love each other and everyone, Jisung tries his best, M/M, Minho is the sweetest, Minor Injuries, No edits we die like women, Serious Injuries, Seungmin has a tragic backstory, more angst than fluff probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:07:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22883758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunfloawer/pseuds/Sunfloawer
Summary: The loud howls and clicking against the floor. The scent of blood and chemicals in the air. The eerie blood orange glow in the horizon. It was the end of the world.The reassuring hand pressed into the small of his back. Fingers curling into his hair as a sweet voice whispered into the darkness of the night. Even if Felix couldn’t remember anything that happened more than a year ago, this was the start of his world.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix, Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin, Kim Woojin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Lee Felix/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 10
Kudos: 104





	1. The end of the world tastes bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> This is an Apocalyptic story wrapped around with a lot of mess and badly written angst! I’ll try to warn before serious triggers! It’s my first ever try to write anything so I hope you’ll enjoy it! Heavily inspired by all the shitty apocalypse movies and series I have watched over the last year.

Only the low whistling of the wind could be heard as the boy hauled himself over the high fence, wincing in pain as he landed on his damaged ankle. He left a small trail of blood after himself as he dragged his leg through the ground, trying to move as fast as possible. The static feel in the air made his skin break out in goosebumps, the hair at the back of his neck standing up and his stomach twisting unpleasantly. 

The boy had to stop and hunch over, gagging while trying to muffle out the sounds he was making. Nothing but a few strings of saliva left his parted and chapped lips, throat clenching up painfully from being parched. 

The sun was starting to settle into the eerily orange glow in the horizon and Felix hit his thigh three times before he managed to stand back up, forcing himself to move through the blinding pain. 

The whistling of the wind picked up, his hair so matted with dirt and twigs that it didn’t move as Felix limped down the road. 

The wide and tall buildings managed to hide the boy away from anyone and anything that could be able to spot him, giving him a sense of security as he leaned against a cement wall, peering behind the corner. 

Nothing. 

Not a single living soul. 

Felix let out a sigh of relief as he slipped into a narrow street, hiding away behind a dumpster. His leg laid limp in front of him, useless as pain flared up from his ankle to his knee. Bitten until the flesh nails dug into his thigh as he tried to even out his breathing. The painful gasps as he slightly moved his leg around making him curse at himself. 

Anything could give him away, a single hiss and they could sniff him out. 

He almost regretted running away, falling down the balcony and into the broken glass on his right ankle. Almost regretted not giving in and letting it maul him alive. But the small hope at the back of his head that there’s something else out there made Felix fight for his life. 

So he picked himself up, leaving smeared blood after himself, and ran, or limped away from the only home he had known for the past year. The only home he had ever known. At least the only home he could remember. 

Now that the sun had settled, the heat had reduced and Felix breathed out a sigh of content. The chemicals had damaged a part of the ozone layer, making the temperature rise up to forty degrees in Celsius almost every day. 

As the sun fully settled and everything around was covered in a haunting shade of dark blues and purples, Felix tried to settle down, pressing his back into the side of the dumpster. His top ripped in random places and pants cut into shorts that fell just above his knees, not protecting his injured leg at all. 

A coolness surrounded him, the temperature dropping to a whooping seventeen degrees, making the boy shiver as his heated skin lost warmth. His clothes too thin to actually warm him up anymore as they were worn to keep most of the heat away from him. But as the lows of the nights hit, Felix always found himself shivering. 

In the house at least he had an old, ratty blanket and old man Jihoon to keep him warm. The man would always give him his own warmer blanket and wouldn’t take no for an answer. But now as Jihoon was probably mauled to death by one of the hungry and mutated dogs, Felix didn’t have that privilege anymore. 

Now he was alone again, just like he was a year ago when he woke up with the back of his head bleeding, confused and not remembering anything, not even remembering how to talk. But the old man had been there when he woke up, had coaxed him into trusting him and gave him shelter in an abandoned factory and scrapes of food he had with him. 

The man had thought Felix to speak from scratch, how to eat and do everyday tasks. He thought him how to read and when the boy didn’t remember his own name, asked him if he wanted to be called Felix, something about having had a small cat with that name when he was young and the boy reminding him of the animal. 

And now he was all alone, covering into the side of a dumpster that had a horrific stench, body starting to shiver as he rubbed his palms into his skin. 

His ankle throbbed painfully as he shifted a little bit, hearing the distinct sound of paws clicking against the now cracked pavement. There was the smell of iron in the air, Felix trying to conceal his whimper as he pressed back into the dumpster.

“Fuck.” The boy hissed out as animalistic growling came from not too far on his right, the clicking on the pavement stopping. The low growling continued on and Felix grabbed onto the only weapon he had on him, a dull knife, but it was good enough to chase most animals away. 

The growling stopped suddenly, making him snap his head to the side, eyes wide as he saw the mutated dog fighting against someone. It’s canines were sharp and he stood to the waist of the guy. Felix could feel his body freezing on the spot, hand clutching onto the knife he was holding as the dog tried to bite at anything it could reach. 

A sickening pop could be heard and the dog was laying on the dirty pavement, dark purple, almost black blood matting it’s rough fur and the guy leaned over the animal, a metal bat with barbed wire wrapped around the top part of it in his right hand. 

Apart from the fact that he had just killed a vicious dog, he looked unthreatening. And if it wasn’t for the bat he was holding, Felix would have maybe sighed in relief. But his chest tightened painfully as he gripped onto his knife harder, managing to cut his palm slightly. And everything was silent for a few seconds, the world stopping as Felix looked at the now dead dog in fear. He had only seen the animals alive and ready to kill, and seeing one of them dead gave him some sort of sick joy. 

“Hey! Are you okay?” The man, could he even call him that? He looked only a few years older than him, moved closer to him, but stopped when they were three metres apart. His hair stuck to his forehead as he tried to crawl away from him, left arm twitching and ankle throbbing in pain as he dragged it against the ground. A painful gasp left his chapped lips, throat clenching painfully as he bit down onto his tongue. 

“Are you hurt?” The man kept on staring at him, reading his body language as Felix watched all of his movements. A pang of jealousy went through his chest. The guy was clean, his hair didn’t have any blood or dirt matting it and he looked relatively healthy, even had mostly clean, if a little bit worn clothes on him. 

“You aren’t infected, are you?” The boy’s eyes narrowed at that, lips curling up into a snarl as he tried to warn the other to stay away. 

“Are you blind? If I was infected I would be trying to kill you.” 

“Touché.” Felix almost scoffed at the air of confidence the other had around him. Almost like he was sure the the boy couldn’t be able to hurt him, and he probably can’t. But that doesn’t mean that Felix was going to go down without a fight. 

“Stay the fuck away from me.” He barely managed to hiss at the other before he let out a howl of pain, his free hand clutching his injured ankle in pain. The guy raised his hands up as if showing that he was not going to attack, letting his bat rest on the ground as he stepped closer to him, kneeling down by his side. “I’m not gonna hurt you.” 

Even through the blinding pain, Felix was conscious enough to shift his knife and press it to the side of the guy’s neck, pressing it into the flesh in a warning. “Calm down, I’m not here to kill you. You’re hurt and I want to help.” There was something about the voice of the guy, almost like he was pulling the boy into calmness, into trusting him. But Felix was far from gullible. 

Even though the knife was dull, it still drew a tiny bit of blood from his saviour. “I told you to calm down. We have to move unless you want to be easy prey.” He tried to trash around to get out of the strong hold, but his vision turned white as burning pain travelled up his ankle and calf. “Fuck, sorry. This looks really bad.” 

“Sorry.” Felix could feel the side of his neck being tapped as the guy leaned over him, securing an arm around him as he pressed one of his pressure points, making his vision swim and then turn black. 

Darkness surrounded everything. Felix couldn’t see anything as his eyelids fluttered open, the back of his head throbbing and stomach grumbling in hunger. He tried to scramble around with his fingers, muscles aching, dragging himself backwards while his brains were hazy as he heard someone stepping closer to him. 

“Hey, it’s me, can you stay still?” Felix dragged himself backwards until he reached a wall. He tried to shift and look around as best as he could, taking notice that he was no longer outside, but in some sort of room. “Where am I?” 

“We’re in a police station, couldn’t really move around with your ankle like that.” Felix squinted as light was shown in his face, blinding him for a few seconds. 

“A flashlight?” The guy laughed at him as he put the flashlight on the ground, giving them the minimum lighting they needed to see each other and their surroundings clearly. The windows were covered with some sort of material, making it hard to figure out what time it was. And Felix’s breath hitched as he couldn’t help and look at the other, run his eyes all over the other’s features. 

He was pretty. Very pretty. 

The guy was so pretty Felix didn’t know if he still found him intimidating. The bat not in his hands and a small smile tracing his features, he looked warm, even if there still was some blood on his high cheekbones and his hair was messy. 

He really didn’t look that much older than Felix too. Maybe it was the eyes, they gave off a very youthful look. Melted pools of chocolate and honey, inviting him in, making him feel a sense of security. Felix hasn’t actually seen non infected people around his age, even better, around his age and attractive, so he was going to blame everything on his hormones. 

“Okay, are you done staring? Not that I mind it.” The guy laughed a little as he finished speaking, showing off straight teeth and crinkling eyes. Felix almost wanted to touch his cheeks, just to see if the skin was as soft as it looked. “How long have I been asleep?” 

“Not sure, but I’d say about fifteen hours? Sixteen?” Felix jumped up at that, hissing as he landed on his injured ankle. “What the fuck? Why didn’t you wake me up?” 

“Calm down kitten, we can’t go anywhere when it’s daytime, there are dogs, I can hear them howling.” The guy crouched down in front of him and frowned when Felix tried to cover into himself. He cautiously pressed his palm into the boy’s thigh and rubbed it as if he was trying to reassure him of something. “I won’t hurt you, just wanna check if your ankle’s not infected.” 

Felix didn’t know what happened. Maybe it was the loneliness he was felling, the thought that if not this guy, no one else will try to help him. Or maybe it was him being touch starved and not knowing any human affection except the old man’s. Whatever it was, it led to Felix watching him as his fingers worked over the bandages wrapped around his injury. 

“One good thing about police stations, they have a lot of bandages. That and if you need it, you could lock yourself in a cell that would be impossible to break into.” Felix didn’t laugh at that, but he still appreciated the small bit of humour he still had. 

“Well, your ankle doesn’t look good, Woojin will have to look at it later, but what I do know is that it’s not infected so you shouldn’t worry too much.” Soft fingers worked over the muscles of his calf, making him relax into the touch. “Wait, who’s Woojin?” The guy laughed at that and shook his head, looking Felix in the eyes again.

“He’s my friend, used to be a med student before this shitshow. I’m taking you to him when the sun will settle.” Scared eyes scanned his face again, Felix still not trusting him fully. “Who are you?” 

“Of yeah! Sorry, I’m Minho! What’s your name?” The boy let out a soft Felix as he looked at the other’s, Minho’s, smile. 

“Well then, Felix, I guess you are stuck with me for now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am planning to update 1-2 times in a week, also please ignore the spelling errors and typos because English is my third language!! Thank you for reading this if you did :]


	2. Way back home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the old Felix would have fought against the other, would have been too stubborn and prideful to take help from someone else. But this Felix was desperate. Desperate to survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the real real story starts in the next chapter and I kinda just wanted to show you how Felix is prior to meeting the boys(?)

The flashlight gave the two of them enough light to see each other as they talked, Minho lounging on the office chair while Felix was sitting on a soft futon the other found in order to have his leg outstretched. 

“Wait, you don’t remember anything? At all?” Minho was looking at him with furrowed eyebrows, lips set into a tight line, trying to read his body movements. And Felix simply looked back at him, drinking in his features, still amazed at seeing someone his own age. “Yeah, nothing at all. I remember only the last year and that’s it.” 

The words still sounded so weird as they slipped through his lips, tongue heavy as he had to remember how to pronounce some words. Felix wet his lips and Minho jumped up at that, scrambling around to give him one of the water bottles they have found laying around in the small kitchen of the station. 

“Here, you should drink some. You’ve been alone for days, probably haven’t eaten anything much too.” Minho tilted the bottle a bit to help Felix out, the boy looking at him with one of his eyebrows raised. The hand placed on his shoulder made him feel tense. His stomach turned and heartbeat picked up as eyes ran all over Minho’s face. 

It’s been so long since he’s seen someone without wrinkles from old age or skin falling off because they’re infected. Now Felix had someone else to compare his own face to. 

“Sorry, I don’t have much food on me except this.” A piece of white bread was offered to him, Minho smiling at him, urging him to chew it with a gentle smile marring his features. “You should have some too.” Felix almost gagged as he said that, the food going down the wrong pipe, Minho pressing the neck of the bottle back to his lips, urging him to drink some water. 

“It’s okay, I can go another day without food. We’ll be going in a bit so better rest up, your leg’s gonna hurt a lot.” Minho’s palm lingered over his knee for a few seconds, Felix looking at him in confusion, skin flushing under the other’s gaze. 

A howl could be heard from outside in the distance and the injured boy flinched back, head turning to the covered window. The hand slipped from his knee up to his thigh unconsciously, Minho tilting his head to look at the window too. 

Felix’s skin burned, breath hitching as he froze in his sitting position. He could feel the touch even through the material of his own pants. Could feel the heavy feel of the other’s hand on him, making him shift uncomfortably. And then a hiss left his mouth, ankle throbbing painfully as he moved his leg. 

“Fuck, your leg’s really not good.” Minho’s palm pressed into his thigh, putting pressure on the leg, unknowingly pushing his injured ankle further into the floor. Felix let out a gasp and tried to move away, to get the hand away from him and to stop the red hot pain from spreading upwards. 

It took him a few moments to realise he was actually pushing down onto Felix’s leg, that he was the one who was hurting him. “Fuck.” Minho almost flew away backwards, looking at the boy with wide eyes and lips parted in surprise. A wave of anger surged through his heart, momentarily cursing at himself for not being careful once again. 

“I’m so so sorry, please don’t be mad, I didn’t meant to actually hurt you.” He was sitting on his knees at that point, bowing his head in guilt as Felix was clutching at his knee, breathing deeply and counting until twenty, until the pain became bearable. “I know, it’s gonna be even worse when we’ll be moving. Maybe you should just leave me here.” 

That seemed to make Minho offended as his head snapped up and he stared at Felix for a few seconds, the two of them sharing a silent look. “No.” 

“What if you’ll get hurt because of me?” Minho simply smiled at that in response, Felix’s brains short circuiting as he once again could feel the fantom touch of the other on his thigh. His skin burned again and heartbeat sped up. “Yeah, well, I’d rather get hurt than know I left someone to die.” 

Felix wanted to protest more, to say anything else, but Minho shook his head and cautiously went closer to him again. “Can I check your ankle again? I need to wrap it up tighter and then we can try to go, I think the dog left.” A soft whimper followed after he nodded his head and Minho gently moved his leg, taking more elastic bandages to get to work. 

And he couldn’t help and watch the way Minho’s long fingers worked over his leg gently, rubbing into the skin where the blue and black bruises ended. Felix tried to relax and the fingers stroked over his skin, Minho furrowing his eyebrows in concentration, tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he wrapped the bandage around the injury. “Luckily it really doesn’t look infected, did you cut it up somehow?” 

Minho cursed at himself silently as he waited for the other to answer him. He should have asked the question earlier. There’s still a small possibility that he was bitten and the infection will show up in days. And he didn’t want to watch another person, another potential friend go insane and blood thirsty, attacking him again. 

“I fell into glass, landed right on this ankle and had to run without checking it.” He nodded his head at the answer, giving him a gentle smile as he finished up with wrapping his ankle up, Felix cringing at the hot flashes of pain going through his ankle and up his calf. “Wait here, I’ll go outside and check if the street’s clear and then come back.” 

Felix wanted to protest badly, words already on the tip of his tongue, but Minho simply smiled at him, took his bat and stepped outside. The boy slumped back against the wall behind him, banging the back of his head against the surface. Dread filled up his chest, weighting his heart down, his eyelids dropping heavily. A voice at the back of his head whispered, whispered until it was screaming at him, that Minho was not coming back. 

Minho left him. And Felix couldn’t find the strength to blame him. 

But even if he couldn’t really blame him, despair still filled his chest up. His stomach turned and nose wrinkled as he thought about having to go through the city alone again. His heart slammed against his chest as eyes welled up with tears, clinging to his eyelashes. Fingers dug into his thigh, gripping at the material of his shorts, tugging in anxiety as his mind got clouded. 

And just like that, he was thrown back to the day he woke up, to the day he had been scared, panicking because his mind was blank, no memories. Felix let out a soft cry, left alone in an unfamiliar place again, no way to navigate around. Left to die again. 

Now the tears were freely rolling down the sides of his cheeks, lips bitten raw as he tried hold the sounds in. What if the dogs heard him? What if someone else heard him? 

He could hear someone walking up the hallway and his breath hitched, eyes stuck to the doors and nails digging into the skin of his wrist. His body was frozen as the doors cracked open, heart slamming against his rib cage painfully and pain shooting up his leg. 

“Okay, we’re free to go.” Minho. He came back for him. He didn’t leave him to die. Felix couldn’t help but let out a cry of relief, clenching his eyes shut momentarily just to open them again to make sure that it was really Minho in front of him. And the boy let the bat fall to the ground, cautiously moving over to Felix’s side. “Hey, hey. Why are you crying?” 

Felix let out a few more hiccups before he looked back up again at Minho, the two of them watching each other silently. “I, I just thought you left me.” A hand rubbed his shoulder in comfort, fingers gliding against his muscles. “Shh, I’m here now and I’m not leaving you.” 

The corners of Minho’s lips tugged down into a soft frown, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to get the other to calm down. And Felix unconsciously leaned into the touch of the other, skin burning and the darkness of his thoughts filling up with a dull shine of hope and a promise. 

And Felix knew that he probably shouldn’t have trusted the other so easily, but he was going to blame it on him being desperate. On him wanting to survive. 

“Come on, we should leave so that we’ll get home quicker.” Felix bit down onto his chapped lip, hissing as he tore the skin open, staring at Minho in confusion. “Home?” 

“Home.” Minho smiled at him one more time before he helped hoist him up, Felix clinging to the other as he wobbled on one leg. “Can you try to walk on both feet?” The boy nodded his head and within seconds crumbled back to the ground with a hiss falling from his lips, eyes shut tightly and Minho’s hands holding onto him in surprise. 

“Okay, so that’s what we won’t do then.” Minho looked down at him for a few seconds, rubbing his thigh as an apology before looking around the room. He cursed under his breath but once again helped the other up, this time more careful. 

Felix had one arm slung over Minho’s shoulders, standing on his healthy leg as the other held onto his waist, gripping tightly. “Okay, now we really have to go.” Minho had his bag slung over his back, bat peaking out of it, looking around as the two of them made their way down the halls carefully, Felix jumping on one leg with the other’s help. 

There were no howls in the distance and they breathed out sighs of reliefs, Minho shooting the other a quick smile before guiding them down the street. They hid in the shadows of the tall buildings, careful, just in case there was a dog, or even worse, an infected human around. 

“Is it far?” Minho hummed and looked down the street with a blank expression, a deathening silence surrounding them, no whistling wind and clicking of paws on the pavement. “About three hours by feet.” 

Felix looked down at the ground, at his bent knee that hid away his injured ankle. The silence surrounding them was disturbed by the small thumps the boy’s foot made as he moved with the help of Minho. “But with me being injured, it will take longer.” “Then we better move along faster.” 

The boy was about to protest, but Minho shook his head, giving his waist a squeeze in order to tell him to not argue, the two of them looking to the sides to make sure they’re safe. 

Felix couldn’t recognise the buildings they were passing, it looked like they were moving closer to the outskirts of the town. He could see what probably once was a well kept park, now abandoned. “Where exactly are we going?” 

“Home. A forest right outside the city. There’s a house where we are staying.” Felix had to clench his jawline, grinding his teeth as his ankle moved, the bandages not helping the injury much. Minho sensed that and squeezed his waist again. “Wait until we’ll be out of the city, it won’t take long.” 

Felix nodded his head and tightened his hold on Minho’s shoulder, hissing in discomfort as he tried to pick up his pace. “Hey, careful, we don’t want to injure you even more.” Minho tried to reason with him but was met with a determined shake of the boy’s head. “I’d rather stay alive than be eaten.” 

Minho couldn’t do anything else but agree with the other, helping him move along as they stepped into the park, leaving the concrete of the city behind them. The grass and leaves crunched under their shoes, Felix flinching with every louder sound. 

The moon gave a purplish hue to the surroundings, the trees looking dead as they had no leaves on them, just bare branches. Felix tried to grip onto Minho’s shoulder as he stumbled over a rock, falling forwards and taking the other down with him. 

A painful yelp left his lungs as he felt hands trying to hold him in place on the ground, his ankle burning and leg twitching and twisting in pain. “Shit.” Minho held onto him as he lifted him up, looking Felix over and then letting out a sigh. 

“We’re about two hours away.” Felix was about to let the other wrap his arm around his waist again, Minho simply gave him his bag to hold, turning his back to him. “Minho? What are you doing?” But the boy kneeled down on the ground and motioned towards his back. 

“It’s gonna be quicker if I’ll just carry you on my back.” And the old Felix would have fought against the other, would have been too stubborn and prideful to take help from someone else. But this Felix was desperate. Desperate to survive. 

Minho’s hands gripped onto Felix’s thighs as the boy climbed onto his back, making sure that the other was comfortable before rising back up on his feet. It worried him how light the boy seemed, even Jisung weighted more and the boy was as light as a feather. 

A soft exhale could be heard close to his ear, Minho turning his head to look at the other over his shoulder, Felix’s face close to his. Mud and twigs were tangled in the other’s hair, face dirty and a bit bruised up. Minho could see his features faintly, but not much. He had noticed the shape of his lips and eyes in the station, the cute nose, and he was sure that he was going to be surprised when the other’s face with be clean. 

“I’m sorry that you have to carry me.” Minho just shook his head and continued on walking, Felix wrapping his arms around the other’s neck, holding onto him. He could feel the hands holding onto his thighs tightly, his injured ankle limp as it hung in air. The pain subsided to a throbbing, uncomfortable yet still bearable. 

“Just hold on, we’ll be safe in no time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am determined to update 2-3 times a week at this point because I have chapters figured out and I just need to check if I feel okay about them. The next chapter is Felix meeting the gang and yikes, some people will be hurt hurt. I hope you’ll be sticking with me and this story because I like writing it :]


	3. Leave a light on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Y – yongbok?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I really really really do not know how an apocalypse would work out, this is all a very badly imagined scenario and my ideas gone wrong!!

There was a faint scent of mud, of earth, as Felix groggily opened his eyes, focusing on the darkness in front of them as Minho’s hand still gripped his thighs, the two of them moving through the forest. His gaze focused on the trees that they passed, lips parting in surprise as he saw that some pines still had their spikes. 

The wind was blowing harder, naked tree branches moving with it, a shiver running down his spine as his ears picked up a howl that came from further away. His arm unconsciously tightened around Minho’s neck in fear and panic, heartbeat picking up and making his chest ache. “I think there’s a dog following us.” 

He was met with a tilt of the other’s head, a soft hum and then they stopped moving. 

“We’re about five minutes away from the house.” Felix dug his fingers into Minho’s flesh, shoulders shaking as the howl came from somewhere closer, to their right. “I don’t think we have five minutes.” 

A sigh of defeat left Minho’s lips, carefully setting the boy down onto the ground, against a tree trunk, carefully taking the bat out of the bag Felix had been holding. “Don’t move, if something happens to me, run, er, limp down that path without turning back.” And Felix was left alone again. 

He was left in darkness, listening to the sounds around him, the howl so close by, followed with an animalistic growl and Minho taunting the dog. He could hear sounds of struggling and more growling, the sickening sound of bones snapping and the wet sound of the barbed wire on the bat digging into flesh. 

Felix hoped it was Minho who was using the bat. 

The blues and purples of the sky made it hard for the boy to see clear movement, the hue making shadows blend in perfectly with the trees. His fingers spasmed as he could hear branches crunching under someone, or something. 

He had enough strength to send a short prayer as he clenched his eyes shut, breathing hitching and body freezing over. “If I was the dog you would already be dead. What part of be cautious do you not understand?” But there was no bite behind Minho’s words, only exhaustion and hope swirling around his words. Hope that they were going to reach the house safely and exhaustion because he hasn’t eaten and slept for almost two days. 

Felix was about to scramble up onto his legs but two hands stoped him, helping him up and wrapping around his waist as Minho held his now bloody bat in his other hand, leaning on it a bit for support. “Careful there.” 

It seemed like the wind was whispering to them as it blew gently now, as if it knew that the danger was away now, that they were safe. Felix couldn’t help and lean a little bit more against Minho, his leg useless as he jumped around. 

Even through the darkness, Felix could see an outline of a house, surrounded by tall trees, all the windows tightly shut, not giving anyone a chance to glance inside. Minho tugged at his waist a bit, drawing the boy’s attention to him again. “You just stopped, and we better get inside.” 

His knees shook the closer they got to the doors of the house. Arms started shaking too as Minho banged on the door in a random pattern, hearing whispering in the house. The same pattern of banging was done by Minho, and maybe it was a secret code? Felix thought that would have been a smart idea. 

“Minho?” The mentioned boy let out a frustrated sigh and banged on the doors for the third time, an affirmative shout being heard from the inside. The sound of chains rattling and the doors being unlocked could be heard, Minho anxiously waiting for them to slam open, squeezing Felix’s waist unconsciously. 

“Oh for fucks sake you idiot, we were actually worried about you.” Minho was dragged into the house, dragging Felix in after himself, the younger boy’s eyes watering at the pain as he had to set his foot down. 

“Jisung thought you died or something.” Minho was being hugged by another boy, he couldn’t be that much older than Felix. But he wasn’t a good judge of character too, he couldn’t really remember how old he was himself. But the boy was tall and had black hair, a mole under one of his eyes and plump lips. Felix had to admit that he was breathtaking, but his admiration was short lived as he put too much pressure onto his ankle and let out a painful scream, failing to muffle it. 

“What the fuck was that?” Voices could be heard from another room, footsteps drawing closer and Felix stepped back automatically, closer to the tightly shut doors, out of fear stepping on his injured leg again. Minho was not fast enough as he turned around and watched with wide eyes as the boy crumbled to the ground, letting out another painful scream, his skin burning and leg shaking from the pain. 

“Who are you?” Felix stayed silent as he clutched onto his leg, shaking in pain as he curled up into himself, trying to make himself look smaller than he already was. Minho tried to come closer to him but was held back by the tall guy. “You better answer before we throw you out.” 

The injured boy let out a pitiful whimper, nose running as he couldn’t help and start crying, afraid that he was going to have to make his way back to the city. He probably wasn’t going to make it through the first hour. 

“Get away from him Chan.” Felix could see a pair of shoes in his vision, right by his leg, and he pressed himself back into the doors. “We don’t bring people in Minho, what if he’s infected?” The boy could almost feel his consciousness slipping away from him, eyelids heavy and jaw slacking open unconsciously. He was just so tired and everything hurt. 

“He’s not!” Minho tried to get out of the tall boy’s hold, the arms wrapped around his tightly, looking at Felix with guilt as the boy looked dazed and confused. And in pain. “How do we know that?” 

“Because I spent the night with him!” Silence fell upon the house, everyone looking at each other in surprise, and then looking at Minho in confusion and anger. A short boy stepped over to him, grabbing Minho by his shoulders, shaking him roughly in anger. “What do you mean spent the night with him? He could have killed you!” 

“Yeah, well he didn’t. He can’t even stand up and walk without falling and if he was infected he would have already tried to attack me.” Silence once again fell upon the house, Minho finally managing to get out of the tight grip, pushing a curly haired man out of the way before kneeling down in front of Felix. 

“Hey, please don’t cry. I know it hurts, but I’ll get you cleaned up and you won’t feel a thing anymore, okay?” Felix felt like a child as he tried to focus on Minho, on his voice. His vision dimmed momentarily as he tried to nod his head, leg still shaking and fingers digging into his thighs out of the pain. “He’s injured?” 

The voice was warm, honey toned and concerned. It warmed Felix up from the inside and he wanted to tilt his head back, to see who was talking. But he focused on his fingers, on Minho’s fingers curling around his wrist gently, thumb stroking over his pulse. “Yeah, his ankle’s cut open, it’s not infected, but he can’t walk for now.” 

“He can’t stay.” A growl could be heard from somewhere further away, someone hissing at the person to shut up and get the stick out of his ass. “We can’t just throw him out there Changbin, he can’t even walk! And he’s so tiny too.” A scoff could be heard from the short boy, Changbin.” What does that gotta do with anything?” 

“Are you forgetting that I found you like this too? You would have been dead by now if we didn’t take you in.” 

“Everyone, shut the fuck up.” A hiss could be heard and Minho squeezed Felix’s thigh, drawing the boy’s attention to himself, making him try and focus his eyes on him. “I’m gonna lift you up, okay Lix? And then I and Woojin will look at your ankle again and will clean you up.” His heart slammed against his chest at the nickname, the corners of his lips twitching as he tried to tilt his head enough to look at the other. 

Fear still clawed at his stomach, travelling up to his chest and he could only nod his head, too scared to look at anyone else but Minho. “I’m sorry it will hurt when I’ll move you, but we’ll be quick.” He could feel the hand slipping from his thigh to rest under his legs, the other hand coming to wrap around him, being lifted up without much effort. 

“Fuck. How light is he?” Minho gave the curly haired man a sad stare before he cradled Felix to his chest, another man, Woojin? Following after the two of them to what the boy would only guess was the bathroom. There was an old bathtub and an old sink, Felix looking at them in wonder. He was set down of the closed toilet, Minho kneeling down in front of him and propping his ankle onto the sink. 

Woojin had taken a kit from under the sink, peering down at the ankle as Minho unwrapped it carefully, Felix watching the way the blues and greens swirled together, bruising his skin as open wounds covered his ankle up, some deep and some barely surface level. 

“I’ll have to stitch some of them up. They’re too deep to be left like this.” Minho ran his fingers through Felix’s dirty hair, whispering for him to relax as Woojin apologised and pressed a cloth soaked in rubbing alcohol to his injuries, disinfecting them. “This will hurt a lot, I’m really sorry.” 

A hand was offered for him to take, Minho squeezing his palm tightly as if to tell him that he was here. 

“Don’t look.” Woojin looked at the injuries again, assessing which ones he had to stitch up, fingers moving over the skin and apologising as Felix whimpered in pain when his skin was pierced. “Sorry, this will all end soon.” 

But Felix couldn’t keep his eyes away from his injuries, from Woojin’s fingers that were working on his flesh and muscles, stitching the angry red injuries. Minho’s fingers felt hot against his hand, but he focused on the flames licking at his skin, eyes dazed. 

“I’ll go and bring some clean water to wash him up.” Minho patted the boy’s thigh gently once before slipping out of the bathroom, Woojin whispering softly that everything was going to be alright. “Minho?” “Shh, he’s gonna come back with clean water and clothes and you’ll be as good as new.” 

The boy’s skin felt like ants were crawling under it as his knee jumped from his nerves. He could hear people talking from outside the bathroom before Minho slipped in with a bucket and a bundle of clothes. 

“Hold on tightly.” Felix yelped as Woojin lifted him up, placing him in the tub and keeping his stitched leg up, fingers rubbing into his shoulders. “We’ll have to take your clothes off.” 

“Okay.” The two of them were surprised that Felix didn’t protest, that he didn’t even question them. But they stayed silent as they helped him out of his thin top, Minho cutting the shorts open, trying not to look at the boy’s private parts as he sat in the tub naked and shivering from the cold. 

Woojin carefully ran a soaked cloth over the boy’s skin, scrubbing the dirt away as gently as he could, the skin turning a soft shade of pink. He could count the boy’s ribs and that made him furrow his eyebrows. It reminded him of Jisung and how they found him, small and shivering, thinking that he was going to die. 

He scrubbed at the boy’s neck as Minho rubbed Felix’s shoulders to calm him down, water turning a light brown as he washed his skin. He smiled at the fact that apart from the ankle, Felix’s body seemed to be without any other injuries. 

“Close your eyes, I’ll clean your face.” Felix glanced at Minho cautiously, the older boy nodding his head as he rubbed his wrist in support. So he exhaled and clenched his eyes shut, letting Woojin run another clean cloth over his face, rubbing at his cheeks and forehead to get the dirt off. He had to use quite a lot of soap to get the boy cleaned up, and the bucket of water was barely enough. And he had to ask Minho to get another bucket of water for the boy’s hair. 

The dirt washed away, Minho and Woojin working through the tangled mess carefully as they got the twigs out, having to cut some hair to get rid of the knots that weren’t going away. By the end of the cleaning session, Felix was sitting in the tub as clean as one could be, soft freckles spilling over his cheeks and to his temples, eyelashes curling up gently and a cute button nose filling his features out. 

Felix was pretty and Minho had to avert his eyes to the ground as Woojin helped the other into the sweats and thick sweater that belonged to Chan. 

The boy’s ankle was wrapped up thickly by bandages over the injury covered with ointment. 

Minho had to carry the boy out, Woojin telling them that Felix shouldn’t put any pressure on that leg, that they had crutches somewhere around the house. And the other boys were waiting for them in the living room, jumping to their feets when they were joined by the three others.

“Y – yongbok?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might make Felix a bit of a mess because he’s both touch starved but also cautious and an anxious babie so I will try to portray it as best as I can. The others will be slowly introduced now too!


	4. Road not take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have managed to throw this together yesterday and apparently forgot to update! As always, no editing and everything is a mess, enjoy!

“Y-Yongbok?” Silence followed after that, some staring at Felix and some at the surprised boy who was standing by the worn out couch. The boy looked up at Minho, who was still holding him in his arms tightly, sharing a confused look. His arms shook as he could feel eyes on him, making him feel uncomfortable. 

And it seemed like both Woojin and Minho had noticed that, the two of them nodding at each other. “Can you all please give us some space? Don’t crowd around the poor boy.” A few sorries could be heard, Felix resting his head against Minho’s shoulder for comfort, trying to drown out the questions that were flowing all around the open room. 

“Is it really you?” That brought Felix’s attention back to the boy who was asking him. He had soft brown hair and big pleading eyes, as if he was hoping that he would recognise him too. But his mind was blank. He had zero memory of the boy. And he felt bad for it, Felix could see the hope dying inside of his eyes, his shoulders falling in defeat as the two of them stared at each other. 

“Who’s Yongbok?” A few gasps could be heard, Minho’s thumb working against the boy’s sunken stomach, soothing him into a calmness. The hopeful boy took a step over to them, closer, so that he was standing two metres away, the tall boy with the mole under his eyes standing by his side. “Y-you? You don’t remember?” 

“What’s happening?” A short boy tried to get someone’s, anyone’s, attention, but only managed to get the curly haired man to give him one glance and then all the attention was back on Felix and the other boy. “Ji? Who’s Yongbok?” 

“It’s him? He’s Yongbok? He looks just like him!” Felix could feel his head becoming heavy, still resting it on Minho’s shoulder, heart slamming painfully against his rib cage. “I’m not! I’m Felix! Stop calling me that!” 

“Hey, Lix, everything’s okay, please calm down.” Minho had managed to place the boy onto his lap as he sat down on the couch, Woojin helping him with the injured leg. “Jisung, stop freaking the boy out.” Felix could hear people moving around him, his lungs heavy and breathing laboured. A hand rubbed against his shoulder, Minho whispering in his ear to calm down. 

A hand clutched onto his wrist, tugging at it, making the boy let out a surprised gasp as he looked up and at the boy. “Bokie. I missed you so much my Bokie.” He could feel the hold on his wrist tightening and his eyebrows furrowed, the boy unfamiliar to him, his thoughts and memories black to the world. 

“Stop calling me that!” His voice cracked in the middle, sounding pitiful as Felix covered into himself, pushing back against Minho’s chest. His eyes ran all over the room, taking in the shocked expressions and the tall boy looking at him in confusion and sadness. Did he also think that he knew him too? The curly haired man tried to step closer but Felix whimpered at that, scared that he was going to do something to him. 

He watched him with careful eyes, taking in the way Woojin had whispered something to him, making him sigh and nod his head in agreement. “Lix, breathe with me please.” He could feel Minho’s chest pushing up against his back, sensing vibrations as the other tried to talk to him, tried to calm him down. He had to count to ten, in and out, just concentrating on the other to feel tension leave his body. 

“There you go.” Fingers worked through his hair, through the tension in his jaw, rubbing at his muscles. “Bokie, what happened to you?” A hiss could be heard from somewhere to his right, directed at the boy, Jisung. “Ji, now is not the time.” 

“I just want to know what happened to my Bokie.” A silence feel upon the room again, only deep breathing could be heard and then an almost inaudible sorry followed. “I really don’t want to do this now, but it would be better to know what actually happened to you.” 

Felix slowly tilted his head up, Minho apologising to him as he jolted him up, the two of them tangled up in each other. The curly haired blond was looking at him with a pleading look, guilt written all over his face. “We can’t just trust you, it could get us killed.” 

The boy managed to crack a bitter smile at that, tensing up as Minho patted his thigh, palm lingering against his muscles before dropping to rest on the worn out couch. “Can’t he rest first? He’s about to pass out at some point from exhaustion.” And Felix felt guilty for still being vary of the other, he knew that Minho had already put a lot on the line for him, but his arms still shook from anxiety whenever those fingers ghosted over his waist or ankle to check up on the injury. 

“I get it Minho, I can see how tired he is.” “There’s a but.” A sigh of defeat could be heard, some murmuring following right after, Felix having to pull all of his energy into trying to stay awake as his eyelids became heavy. His body swayed as Minho had to hold onto his shoulders, hissing as he moved his ankle, Woojin warning him not to move too much. “Felix, wasn’t it?” 

The boy’s attention snapped to the man, studying him for a few seconds before moving his head silently. “Okay then, Felix, can you tell us something? Anything? How Minho found you? And how Jisung might know you?” 

The boy furrowed his eyebrows at that, tilting his head to look at the boy, Jisung, again. The two of them stared at each other for a few moments, the voices around them blending into a hum and Felix tried to remember the boy. 

“Minho found me behind a dumpster? I was running away from an infected dog and I thought I was going to be mauled but he saved me at the last moment.” He could feel Minho breathing against him, Jisung watching the two of them carefully, a frown marring his features as he noticed the older boy running his fingers through Felix’s hair in a comforting manner. 

“I heard a howl and I knew the dog was in front of me so it couldn’t have seen me. And I had to go through the street too, and when I saw Felix covering into himself, looking so small and the dog ready to attack I just blanked out.” Jisung was watching every move Minho made, lips pulling into a tight line as his eyes landed on Felix again. 

“He got scared as tried to slit my throat when I approached him.” A loud he tried to what? could he heard around them and Felix cringed at the loud volume. The voices started blending together and created a wave of noise, making him whimper in discomfort, ears ringing. “Can’t blame him for that too, I kinda sneaked up on him and he had almost been attacked before. But I knocked him out because his knife was really dull. Which is a really stupid weapon to have if it’s dull, Lix.” 

“Okay, that makes sense, but why did it take you so long to come back?” Minho smiled at that, Felix’s eyes dropping to the floor. Oh look, it looked like the wooden planks were moving too. His vision swam a bit as he tried to steady himself. 

“We took shelter in a police station because they were around and could have attacked us. Also Felix was knocked out and I still needed to look at his ankle.” “Understandable, now can you tell us how you know Jisung? Or why he thinks he knows you?” 

The tall boy’s voice sounded guarded and Felix raised his head up, unsteady gaze trying to peer into the other’s eyes, failing as his vision doubled. “Okay, I think he needs to rest, now. He’s not even focusing on anything.” 

“I don’t know.” Minho squeezed his shoulder, Felix breathing deeply as his body started to shake in anxiety, tongue heavy but words still managing to slip through his chapped lips. “Huh? What do you mean you don’t know?” 

“I mean that I don’t know! I don’t remember!” Some murmurs could be heard from around the room, the tall boy looking at Felix with furrowed eyebrows, eyes narrowed and untrusting. “Yeah, no. You gotta be less vague than that.” 

“I don’t remember anything from more than a year ago.” Felix had to lean onto Minho as his vision got hazy again, arms falling limp at his sides, fingers twitching in anxiety as everyone looked at him. He stared at Jisung as the boy had a hurt look painted over his face, eyes watering and knees visibly trembling. 

“Well that’s very convenient for you.” “Hyunjin , shut the fuck up, this is not the time and place to argue.” Felix managed to glare up at the tall boy, making him avert his eyes from the heated gaze. “Not my fault that I woke up without any memory a year ago.” 

“Okay, enough already.” Woojin managed to shut Hyunjin up as he stepped over to the couch, the curly haired blond following after him. “Minho, take Felix upstairs.” “Sure, I’ll take him to our room, you don’t mind, right Chan?” 

The boy didn’t actually wait for the response as he stood up, carefully cradling Felix to his chest, apologising as the boy whined in pain. The others watched the two of them as they made their way up the stairs, Minho turning his head to look back at Hyunjin one more time. “You’ll apologise later.” The tall boy sighed but nodded his head in defeat, guilt swimming in his orbs. “I will, hyung.” 

Felix had to hold onto Minho’s shoulders as they turned to his right, the older boy struggling to open the doors as he held the boy up. “You know I could try to jump up the stairs.” He was awarded with an unimpressed look and a shake of a head. “That’s what we’re not gonna do. You’ll be on strict not walking duty for some time.” 

He tried to protest as he was place on the bed. And calling it a bed would be generous. It was a mattress with some old sheets and blankets thrown on top of it, two stray pillows sitting at the head of the mattress, right against the wall. But it was still more than what Felix could remember having. 

“Welcome to your room Lix. Chan hyung will have to search for a pillow for himself but that’s his problem right now.” The nickname made Felix have to surpass his flinch. Feeling weird as the other tried to get him comfortable, acted like they were already friends. “I could just sleep without a pillow.” 

“Chan would give his pillow to you either way.” Minho’s fingers carded through his hair, the boy humming as Felix just laid in the bed awkwardly. “We’ll have to ask Seungmin to cut your hair, it’s uneven and we had to chop some of it off to get it untangled.” The boy looked at Minho again as he could feel the way his hair was moved. He hadn’t actually been able to wash or brush his hair for almost a month, so this felt surprisingly calming. 

“Thank you.” While his mind was hazy and all he wanted was to pass out, he still knew that he needed to thank the other. If it wasn’t for Minho, he probably would have been dead at this point. And now he was on a mattress with a blanket on top of him, a pillow under his head and Minho’s fingers carding through his hair. 

“You don’t need to thank me. I just did what I needed to do.” Minho’s humming calmed him down enough for his eyelids to fall shut, lips parting as his muscles started to relax. “Now sleep, we’ll feed you when you’ll wake up and hopefully those two idiots will be calm enough.” 

“I would have been dead.” Minho let out a soft sigh at that, pressing his thumb upon Felix’s temple, stroking it as the boy leaned into the touch, not even realising what he was doing anymore as he was half unconscious. “Shh, you’re alive and I won’t let anything happen to you while you’re here. Now sleep and I’ll be here in the morning.” 

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya’ll I know it’s confusing and the whole Jilix situation will not be fully revealed for quite some time. It’s a very important part to the story and we’ll get to it in time. I hope you enjoyed it because I wrote this yesterday while high on redbull and coffee!


End file.
